You're an Asshole (But I Love You)
by foolsg-arden
Summary: The world was ending, she was separated from the only two people she cared about and to top it off, she was about to die. Until an annoying blonde Australian strolled into her life that is, with her leather jackets and aviators, guns and knives strapped to every inch of her, new born guitar, the need to call her every pet name under the sun and shamelessly flirt with her.
She was going to die. She was currently surrounded by four reapers and the only weapon she had was a baseball bat and she was going to die. She supposed it wouldn't be so bad, she had already lost her mother and brother and they were the only two people she really cared about. She wouldn't go down without a fight though, swinging the bat and getting it lodged in a reapers skull probably wasn't going to help that plan though. She took a few steps back to try to make some distance between the reapers and herself only to stumble over and fall down. She was going to die. She braced herself and closed her eyes and waited. And waited. And waited. Opening her eyes, she seen the last reaper fall to the ground no more than a foot away from her with a small hole in the middle of its forehead,

"Come on cutie, we have to get a move on if we want to live." An accented feminine voice said from above her, squinting her eyes against the sun she still couldn't make out any features other than wild bright blonde hair

"Who the fuck are you?" She asked automatically, not making a move to take the hand the girl offered her

"We have time for who fucks are you later when we're safe, cutie, so get up and run." The girl yanked her to her feet and took off on a sprint, hand still gripped tightly around Alicia's hand who was stumbling trying to keep up with her

"Where are we going?" Alicia gasped, still struggling to keep up with the blonde girl

"Somewhere safe." The girl grinned over her shoulder, pushing her aviators into her hair and Alicia felt an entirely new breathless feeling flood over her at bright blue eyes with mischief in them, with blue and wait surrounding them before the girl slowed to stop, "You have a name, cutie?"

"Alicia." Alicia panted out, taking a moment to look at the girl in front of her. She had two huge guns strapped to her leather-clad back, a pistol strapped to her hip and daggers attached to her thigh, "Alicia Clark."

"And what were you doing surrounded by reapers all on your lonesome, Alicia Clark?" The girl asked

"Trying to make friends." Alicia said sarcastically

"They always try to bite me when I try to be mates with them. I don't know why, maybe they just don't like me." The girl replied happily, "Put in a good word for me, yeah?"

"I'll try. So do you have a name, stranger?"

"I do." The girl replied

"Are you going to tell me what it is?" Alicia asked after a long moment of awkward silence

"Yeah, nah." The girl said

"You said yes but still nothing?"

"I said yeah, nah." The girl grinned, "It means no, Miss America."

"In what world does yeah mean no?" Alicia asked in a frustrated tone

"Australia."

"I was wondering why you spoke weird."

"You sound pretty funny yourself, cutie." The Australian said, "My names Elyza. Elyza Lex. You can call me your hero though."

"I think I'll pass." Alicia rolled her eyes, "Where are we going?"

"Dunno." Elyza said, "Thought we might wander around a bit."

"How are we supposed to survive if there's no plan?"

"Life's about more than just surviving, cutie. It's the end of the world as we know it, we can do whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want." Elyza replied, "But if you want a plan so badly, I'm slowly heading my way to that bunker in the mountains that's meant to be super-secret or whatever? I don't know, you American's are shit at keeping secrets."

"Whatever." Alicia scoffed, trying to cross her arms against her chest only for her arm to be stopped by a hand still holding her own, "Do you mind?"

"No, it's okay. I like it." Elyza grinned, squeezing Alicia's hand "But seriously, I do have a safe house not too far from here. I have food, water, and I'm pretty sure the area is reaper free but who knows for certain, right?"

Just as Alicia opened her mouth to reply a reaper came from the left side, ten metres away from them and running at a brisk pace before it suddenly fell the ground with a dagger sticking out of its forehead, turning back to Elyza she seen the blondes hand still raised

"Holy shit." Alicia whispered

"I'll even keep you safe, cutie." Elyza winked, letting go of Alicia's hand to collect her dagger, strapping it back onto her thigh before taking Alicia's hand again, "What do you say? Come with me?"

"Yeah, yeah okay." Alicia said quietly, still in shock at the pinpoint accuracy and effortlessness

"Oh good, I didn't want to have to follow you around like some sort of lost puppy. That'd be weird."

* * *

"So this is home." Elyza said, spinning in a slow circle in a rundown room, dust collecting on every surface and sections of the floor covered in glass, "As you can see, I like the finer things in life."

"It's… Nice." Alicia said, carefully avoiding looking at the blood splatter on the wall

"It's a piece of shit that's what it is, but it's home for the night and then we'll find a new one whenever we get sick of the trek tomorrow." Elyza said, flopping herself down on the couch and picked up the ukulele from the floor

"What the hell?" Alicia asked with a grin

"Do you expect me to carry around a fully grown guitar? Nah, I'll stick with my new born guitar thank you." Elyza grinned, gently strumming the strings

"New born guitar?"

"Jack here was born three weeks ago and he has been the love of my life ever since." Elyza said seriously

"You and your ukulele are ridiculous."

" _When I met you last night baby  
Before you opened up your gap  
I had respect for ya lady" _Elyza sang with a smirk, not noticing the reaction she was getting from Alicia, " _But now I take it all back_  
Cause you gave me all your pussy  
And ya even licked my balls. Ukulele's are not ridiculous and I'm offended you would even suggest that." She continued, taking not of the shiver that went down Alicia's spine

"They are." Alicia argued, trying to keep the blush from her face, "But I guess Jason is okay."

"Jason? His names Jack. Jason is a horrible name." Elyza said, flipping the ukulele over to show her the messily written name on the back


End file.
